So last week I didn’t post an Idol rundown. It’s mostly because I was lazy. Too lazy, in fact, to even come up with a better excuse.

But here’s my rundown of last week’s Idol. If you’re a fan, then you already know they didn’t boot anyone off the show last week- but two people are headed down the road on Wednesday evening.

The theme is tied in with the big “Idol Gives Back” bit. News Corporation, the owner of Fox, donated $5 million bucks, and got the various sponsors of Idol to donate as well. Of course, odds are they made more money than that in advertising in the single episode, so don’t be thinking they’re all THAT generous!

Since it was charity week, the songs were meant to be inspiring. I have a feeling that some folks need to read some lyrics.

First up was Chris, who did Eric Clapton’s “Change The World”. First example of what’s supposed to be an “inspirational” song that isn’t- the lyrics actually refer to the idea that if the singer could “change the world”, he’d get the woman of his dreams. In fact, the song makes it sound like she isn’t even into him, so it’s actually kind of a stalker song. Appropriate, because Chris is probably “most like to be a stalker someday” out of those who’re left on the show.

Oh, he sang. Feh. It’s a gorgeous song, lyrics aside, and not a bad choice for his voice and register… but as always, Chris trashes the song by jamming in as many vocal runs as he can. I’m still not sure he can actually sing and hold a pure note. And he still sings through his nose; at this point I think he’s doing it to bug Simon. The judges all liked it quite a bit more than me- maybe they were told to be nice this week. They probably would go higher, but I only give him a 5.

Melinda is up next. It’s almost boring- another week, Melinda kicks ass AGAIN. She sang a Faith Hill song “There Will Come A Day” and while I’m not a Faith Hill fan (I think I know who she is), there’s little chance that she sang her version better than Melinda did. Melinda just flat-out rules, folks, and that’s all there is to it. She’s right on with the band and the backup singers. Simon said she made it her own and as usual I give her a 9.

Blake does John Lennon’s “Imagine”. One of the biggest songs by the most creative member of the biggest band of all time- talk about biting off more than he could chew! Actually, he did a decent job, with no beat-boxing. But it wasn’t really great- in fact, I didn’t think it was any better than Chris. Blake has a distinctive, but not really grabby voice- it doesn’t grab your attention. He’s smart enough, though, to not go for notes that he can’t get. The judges… Randy felt like me, as if the performance was a little flat. Paula liked that he meant it, then slipped off the chair either from being drunk or wetting herself in excitement over Blake. Simon said that Blake’s sincerity sold the song, which is a Simon-nice way of saying “not bad”. I only give Blake a 5.

Lakisha was up next and sang “I Believe”. This is a BIG song done on the show by Fantasia, a former winner, and naturally everyone compares Lakisha’s version to Fantasia’s. They pretty much don’t like it and Lakisha is in big trouble- I think the producers have told the judges that their nightmare is three black chicks in the season finale, so they’re dumping on Lakisha so there’s room for a cute white boy like Blake. Maybe I’m just not getting enough sleep and am conspiracy-minded right now, too.

Anyway, I liked Lakisha. She’s got soul, she’s a big gal, picked a big song, singing it with her big voice. I dig her and think she’s strong as always- but she did need a different song. I give her a 7. Randy said it missed a bit, Paula said she should’ve picked a different song, and Simon gets booed down when he starts bagging on her. I think Lakisha is in trouble in the next few weeks.

Phil is up next. He’s now the “Vote For the Worst” sponsored candidate, and I have to agree- he’s the worst, although Chris gives him a run for his money. Phil sings a Garth Brooks song called “The Change”, and no, it’s not about Garth’s menopausal mother in law. It’s actually a very Buddhist song, in that the lyrics talk about how the singer will never change the world; instead, the singer says he’s doing it so the world will know it’ll never change him. Us Buddhist types believe that the external world doesn’t really change; what changes is our own perception of it, and by changing ourselves we can eventually change the world. If that makes any more sense than the conspiracy I mentioned earlier. I really need to go to bed.

Anyway, Phil doesn’t tank, but he isn’t all that good, either. I give him a 7- I thought he started a bit rough, got better in the end, but still not all that great. He’s the best of the guys but that’s not saying much.

Jordin closes it out with “We Never Walk Alone”. Corny song but kind of a God song. As it turns out, Jordin might be a bit of a religious-right type, there’s some pictures of her with a “Stop Abortion Now” sign. Dunno if it’s true or not, but it doesn’t really match her giggly, love-everyone persona exactly.

One thing I notice about Jordin is that when she’s out there singing, she never looks 17; she looks 27. Then when she’s done, POW, it’s revert back to cute giggly teenager girl. I really like her but she’s not on tonight; I think she sounds a tad flat the entire song, pitchy in spots in the beginning. As the song swells and gets bigger she gets better- she loves the glory notes. It gets more emotional and so does she, with a big ending that again I think is a bit flat.

The judges just cream themselves over her! Are they watching the same show as me? I think they’ve been off all night, except for when they were loving on Melinda, but she always rocks so that doesn’t count. Randy thinks it was Jordin’s best ever, Paula said it was glorious, and Simon said “brilliant”. Blech. I give her a 7.

So the next night it takes two hours to tell us they’re not kicking anyone off. But my main man Bono is on, so I can’t slag on the results show TOO much. They’re going to combine up the votes with the next week’s show and then two people get booted. I wonder if they’re going to weight the votes so that this week’s and next week’s are evened out. Since I’m a slacker and not writing this until Monday evening, we don’t have long to wait.

If it were up to me, I’d boot (in this order):

Phil
Chris
Blake
Lakisha

And then see the knock-down, drag-out fight between Melinda and Jordin, with Melinda a clear winner (age and experience over youthful boundless enthusiasm, which causes Jordin to do nothing BUT sing giagantic glory notes the whole “song”.)

…is on NBC, and it’s called Raines, and it’s too bad you missed it. Because it’s terrific.

Raines stars Jeff Goldblum. He’s a cop, a detective in Venice Beach, Los Angeles, California. He’s losing his mind. His partner was shot and killed, and ever since, Raines sees the victims of the murders he’s investigating. He doesn’t just kind of imagine them; he has full-blown hallucinations, interacts with them, you name it.

He’s not seeing ghosts; the hallucinations don’t know things that he doesn’t know. As his knowlege of a case deepens, they change.

The show was originally painted as though he was just this eccentric cop who imagines the victims, but as it’s progressed he’s gotten worse and worse. He’s seeing a therapist (played by Madeline Stowe, who has unfortunately gotten more than a little addicted to Botox- the woman’s forehead and face appear frozen, and I don’t think she’s just pretending to be a very neutral, unruffled therapist) and hasn’t told her how he sees them.

As the show has gone on, Goldblum has added little bits and pieces that (to my eye) make it appear he’s getting crazier. The victims appear at more inopportune times and say things that distract him from the real world.

The show had a seven-episode run and is now “on hiatus”, I believe, which is too damn bad- it was great. The places they were heading with the character were awesome, and there is a lot of room for growth. One thing Raines probably needs is a partner; I love Goldblum, and he’s one talented dude, but he’s on pretty much the entire show.

The other thing they need to do is make Madeline Stowe swear to show a human emotion at some point.

Anyway, if Raines comes around again, man, you gotta check it out. Give it a shot.

Okay… those familiar with the bell curve will know that this interview is cherry-picked from the left-hand side of the curve. Still… this hurts to see. There’s a lot of Bush voters in this group, I think.

And I thought my job was crazy- in a worst-case scenario, if I smack a couple of airplanes together, at least I get to go home and snooze in my own bed. (Well, try to snooze, I suppose.)

Check these guys out: