Not like drunk-trashed…. more like emotionally wiped out trashed.

Today I went to a funeral for Kelsi Cook. She was 18 and a heck of a neat person. I work with her dad, Aaron, and he’s a heck of a neat guy, and his wife, Greta, is a heck of a neat lady, so I suppose it makes sense that Kelsi was a cool gal.

She died earlier this week on Highway 410, east of Enumclaw, heading up to Crystal Mountain where she was living and working. The similarities between her accident and my girlfriend Paula’s are, unfortunately, pretty glaring; going up the road in the morning, lost control, off the road into the trees.

Aaron and I played indoor soccer together on a team with a bunch of guys from work. Kelsi and Greta would come to watch, cheer us on, and even a few times when we didn’t have enough players she would lace ‘em up and join us on the field- and with her energy level, she was (like her dad) a better-than-fair soccer player!

Kelsi was one of those kids that you just love to meet. When you talked to her, you didn’t even really realize she was as young as she was; you know how some people just seem comfortable chit-chatting with anyone? Well, that’s how she was, even at age 13 or 14, coming and talking with a bunch of (supposedly) grown men in their 30s. When I met her, I thought she was in college- that’s how self-assured and un-self-conscious this young woman was.

In Buddhism, we learn about the Bodhisattva Never Disparaging. He was an interesting guy, because he spent his entire life going around telling people how much he respected them and their buddha nature that is a part of them. He declared that everyone is destined, sooner or later, to find and attain enlightenment. From a web page at SGI.org:

Never Disparaging is described as having lived in the remote past. It was his practice to bow in reverence to everyone he met and praise that person’s inherent Buddha nature. This, however, only provoked violence and abuse in return. Never Disparaging’s assertions no doubt challenged people’s deeply held negative assumptions about the nature of life. Their reactions, however, never managed to upset his convictions. He would simply retreat to a safe distance and repeat his obeisance, honoring the potential for good within his persecutors. Over time, as a result of these actions, Never Disparaging’s humanity comes to shine to the extent that those who had despised him are moved to become his disciples and thus enter the path of attaining Buddhahood themselves.

I was reminded of this story today, because in a way Kelsi was like that. She could talk to anyone- like I said, even adult friends of her father- as though they were equals. At her memorial, one girl mentioned that she and Kelsi had butted heads in class; they were both talkers and would sit and argue about things from time to time. Yet Kelsi’s nature was such that she got along with everyone, saw the good in them, and this girl who talked had such obvious respect and love for Kelsi that it was obvious that Kelsi’s wonderful, good nature had won her over.

At her memorial today, in addition to many family and friends and co-workers (and you get to know which of your co-workers are the really Good People by who turns out for something like this) there were grown-up adults who are members of the King County Search and Rescue group (Kelsi had recently graduated their school to become a member); older and younger folks into riding horses; lots of just-out-of-high-school aged kids; even a few with mohawks and blue hair, ski bum types and so forth. All had been drawn to honor Kelsi’s memory, because she honored them in her life.

Never Disparaging went on, in a later incarnation, to become Shakyamuni Buddha. Despite being beat up and tired, I take some comfort knowing that Kelsi made excellent causes in this lifetime; as such, her karma is powerful and strong, positive and upbeat. She was (and is) closer on the road to enlightenment than many of us are, and while I grieve with her folks over hear early death, I also take some small comfort in the notion that her cheerful spirit touched many while here and that she lived out her buddha nature.

My heart goes out to the Cooks and the rest of Kelsi’s family, to her friends and everyone who knew her; even if it was only a little bit, like me, they were probably struck by her and thought “what a great person”. She will be missed.